And this isn't just any old friend. You could say this was my best friend. The notion of a "best friend" seems to be more and more distant to me. What the hell is a best friend?...... and is anyone truly worthy of that title. Now-a-days I see my boyfriend as my bestfriend. And I guess that's the way it's supposed to be. Your companion is supposed to be the closest person to you. Someone you are comfortable speaking to about anything, someone you can share everything with... well hey I guess I lost a friend to gain a better one!
Anyway.... homegirl and I have been in this thing ('friendship') together for over a decade. And it's pathetic that something that seemed so authentic and everlasting came to a crashing end like this.
Is it that people just grow apart?
I tried my best to look past her unfathomable actions because I thought the friendship we shared up until that point was worth another shot. But people it's not just what you do, but HOW you do it. It's not only how you start something, but how you finish! And after carefully opening my heart to this "friend" again I've come to realize that this chick could care less about the condition of anyone elses heart but her own!
And I thought we were going to make it too! We were doing OK. But it wasnt until recently when we proceeded to get into an argument about the slightest of things did I realize that there was definitely more to this glitch in our friendship. There is definitely pain on BOTH sides!!
Something really petty happened and shorty proceeded to bash the hell out of my character as a person... I was a remorse-ful (yes she used the word wrong lmao) and cold hearted bitch that didn't care what I did to others......................... really!?
BLANKSTARE at this broad that probably can't list one way that I ever truly crossed her in our friendship yet just stabbed me in the back like a second ago!
I mean I know why I lost love for her but shoot! I wish I had the slightest clue as to what bugs her so much about me???
All I know is that I gave it a shot, I tried to look past the past and it didn't work. Hopefully one day our paths shall cross again and as adults we can try our hand at a friendship once again. I will always love this girl and root for her as I always have in the past. But as far as the people that I want in my life now... she's definitely NOT one of them!
One of my pet peeves are people that cannot take accountability for their wrong-doings! Hey we're all human, we make mistakes.... but to be Wrong & Strong is just childish! and I ain't got the time!
Now for those of you who think that this is not the place for me to bring this up, please kindly get the hell off of my blog!! I created this blog as a theraputic, expressive vessel for myself. To share my many musing, opinions and experiences with others. Sometimes for feedback, sometimes just to get them off my chest.
So please do not feel free to leave a comment if you have nothing helpful to say. If you've expericenced something similar please share your thoughts!.............................
3 comments:
Completely Over Stand!
I have definitely experienced a similar situation and it truly hurt me to my soul. Something I have realized is the pain and hurt people reflect or put out and say its another person's doing is solely based on what they do not like about themselves, sad but so true because I have done it myself. Personal accountability is something as I have said in the past is a class that needs to be taught starting from nursery school because obviously its not taught in enough homes. Its a sad thing when people cannot hold themself accountable for the bs they do. Its something that I have learned and glad I learned it sooner than later and something I teach my children on a daily basis, take responsiblity for your own actions, it will not only make you feel better but it will clear the air and allow for free flowing communication. Hey life is a process, a journey and I intend to take it fully aware of my actions and cautious of others along the way. None of us are perfect nor will we ever be so the main thing is for us all to be real with ourselves all day everyday!!! I love the Michael Jackson song man in the mirror. If we all take a look and a real true look past the surface this world could possibly be a much better place!!!!! ;)
You're so right Jill
My boyfriends talks about that song ALL the time lol how ironic that you mentioned it. He had to sing it for like JHS graduation and he says it's always been the most fundamental song in his life.
All we really have control of is our own actions and the way we treat others. We have to hold ourselves accountable. You can't control anyone else's actions, BUT we CAN control who we associate ourselves with. And on that note we have to decide who's for us and bettering us and whose not and act upon those feelings. Too many times ppl see negativity in their inner circle and look the other way. Either from being scared of change or thinking things will magically fix themselves.
There's a little thing called guilty by association that holds some real life consuquences.... so ......I fly above all the drama!
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